PRESIDENTIAL TRADE PROCLAMATIONS FINALLY OPEN DOOR TO IMPEACHMENT
By James Baldwin
Washington DC. 8/25/2019. Based on the president’s recent “order” for all American companies to cease doing business with any Chinese enterprises, Senate Majority Leader Satch O’Conner, long an obstacle on the potential road to impeachment, has now challenged the House of Representatives to bring articles of impeachment forward to the Senate as soon as possible.
In a sudden conference on the capitol steps yesterday before a large assemblage of enemies of the people, O’Conner explained, “the president’s trade war, ill-advised from the very beginning, has now gone well over the line of acceptability. He has also threatened that his next step will be to forbid all US corporations, large and small, from doing business with any other US company known to be doing business with China. This will virtually throttle our economy.
He continued, “Can you imagine? Major industries from hi-tech to automotive and beyond will be unable to continue operations, and all of this will be in service to an ego that will take any step to avoid being seen as losing. God only knows what this will do to the markets both global and local.”
Rumors abound as to what caused O’Conner’s sudden about face regarding both the president and impeachment. One of the most immediate of those suggested that this latest presidential proclamation would damage O’Conner personally and gravely. The majority leader’s wealth is known to be tied directly to his wife (Transportation Secretary EZ Rider) and her family’s shipping business, a business that has extensive ties and is largely dependent on business and financing from the Chinese state and business elites.
Another popular explanation is that O’Conner is facing a significant challenge on the left for his long secure seat as Kentucky senator and is desperate to do something that will appeal to moderates, left leaners in his state and the huge Kentucky bourbon business for whom sales to China are crucial.
It has even been suggested that should impeachment go forward, O’Conner would kill it in the Senate in exchange for the president granting his wife’s family’s business an exemption allowing it to be the only enterprise in the US free to do business with the Chinese.
The president utilized his two favorite communication devices, VOX news and Tweeter, to respond yesterday asserting, “The Kenyan wouldn’t stand up to the Chinese, so I had to do it. I am the Chosen One and I’m just getting started, believe me. Get ready for my next order. To be true Americans every household must dispose of any and all items that, even in part, came from China. Throw out that cellphone and ship it back to China as trash. Let’s get that business back in the US!”
Following those tweets the president headed for Air Force One bound for Greenland and waved a red MAGA hat toward the enemies of the people, a hat, it was suggested that, like all of them, was made in China.