By James Baldwin
Washington, D.C. 10/6/2019. Following his recent (this morning) appearance on Meet the Enemy of the People (MEP), Senator Fredo from a midwestern state called me wanting an interview. A brief summary of the interview follows.
SG is Storyguy. SF is Senator Fredo.
SG: Wow, senator, I’m really surprised to hear from you. I must admit that I’m flattered you would come to me.
SF: I had to tell so many lies on MEP this morning, I just need to talk.
SG: Good gosh. I heard about the interview. I can understand that you’re carrying a heavy load. But why me?
SF: I’ve read your interviews with President Corleone, and they’re so far from his public “statements” (air quotes). They’re, well, real. People can talk to you. Tell you the real truth knowing that nobody reads your stuff. I feel like I can unburden with you without paying the consequences.
SG: Consequences?
SF: Come on. You know the consequences of telling the truth. Did you see what the boss did to Senator Pompous from Utah? And he’s already suggested to me that, “I might have to go through some things,” right alongside the former ambassador to Ukraine. I know democracy might be at stake here, but I’ve got a career to think about…and a family.
SG: So how did it all come to this?
SF: Well you guys, the enemies of the people, are everywhere with microphones these days, and one of you caught me saying that I thought the boss was wrong to put military aid to Ukraine and phony investigations of the boss’s political rivals in the same conversation. I mean, shit! I didn’t mean it, of course. It just sort of popped out of me…
SG: Like truth does occasionally?
SF: Well…yeah. Then there’s all that bullshit (the boss’s word) about the Democrats’ server in the Ukraine, and it was really them that hacked the 2016 election. I think the boss actually believes this crap. (Shaking.) Oh boy. I’ve gotta get a grip here before I get in more trouble.
SG: That’s ok. Stay calm. My network is about three people and they’re mostly immigrants who can’t vote or pay for their own health care.
SF: (Calming down, but still breathless) Well, anyway, the fake news media recorded my comments criticizing President Corleone, and now It’s all over the fucking world! (Breaking down again.) The headline (crying), “Senator Fredo does Corleone no Favors.” I’m so screwed.
SG: But it was the truth wasn’t it? Can’t you feel good about that?
SF: Are you kidding? I’m fearing for my life. There’s a reason why none of us are speaking the truth. We’re all scared to death. You don’t mess with the boss and his version of the truth in this family.
SG: And all this led to this morning’s interview?
SF: Yeah. And of course the first question they ask me is to explain why I don’t agree with Corleone. Really?! That question to lead it off? Unbelievable. You know I can’t answer that question.
SG: And so it looked to me that you didn’t. You twisted and obfuscated and just never answered the question?
SF: (Still shaking) Of course! Boy, I had to do some fast talking about how all I was interested in was getting to the real facts, and how much I couldn’t trust the entire American intelligence community, and how no president has ever been treated so unfairly, and how there’s a deep state conspiracy working against the boss, and…
SG: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Calm down. I thought you were on Meet the Enemy of the People. This all sounds like FUTZ News?
SF: It was on MEP! I felt like the only way I could save myself was to spew FUTZ conspiracy theories on MEP. Oh, man. I hope I avoided the tweetstorm. It could be all over for me.
SG: That’s ok Senator Fredo. You and your truth will always be safe out here in Massachusetts.