WEBSTONE ADDS VERB “TRUMP” TO 850 NEW WORDS FOR 2019
By James Baldwin
New York, NY. 1/8/19. Officials from the Merriam-Webstone dictionary announced today an addition to their list of 850 new words for 2019. The word, “trump,” a verb, not to be confused with the card game term, is defined by the dictionary as “an action taken to change or affect an outcome that results in the opposite of its intention.”
The dictionary goes further to suggest that when an actor “trumps,” they have taken action that is based on mistaken, false or incomplete understanding.
Officials from the dictionary admitted that the similarity between the new verb and the name of the current sitting president was well beyond coincidence. Hiram Wordsmith, the bespectacled, understated spokesman who is M-W’s expert on words with political derivations explained, “the consistency and ubiquity of ironic presidential decision-making brought us to the usefulness of this verb.”
To illustrate he pointed out the following examples of what he termed “trumpification.”
“To protect the US economy and needlessly attempt to change the balance of trade with China, he implemented tariffs on imports from that country starting a trade war which, in his words, ‘is easy to win and will be great for our economy.’ Of course, instead of protecting our economy, the ensuing trade war, has had the very opposite impact; an impact that has quickly trickled down to everyone from soybean farmers in North Dakota to stockholders throughout the country.”
Wordsmith then cited the president’s two most recent decisions; changing his mind on an approved bill from congress to keep the government open and pulling US troops out of Syria as perfect examples of trumpification.
“In the former,” Wordsmith lectured, “the President claims that his priority is to ‘keep America safe from the dangerous immigrants pouring over the border from Mexico.’ What has happened, of course, is that based on his action, government employees from park rangers to TSA agents and even air controllers are calling in sick rather than working without pay. Virtually overnight he created a country that is instantly far less safe than it was just a week ago, and will remain so, wall or not, as long as the government is shut down. His action to keep America safe has resulted in the opposite. He has trumped.”
Wordsmith continued dryly, “Although I’m far from an expert on foreign policy, his decisions regarding Syria bear all the characteristics of, well, trumpification. His unilateral decision there aimed at fulfilling a campaign promise to ‘bring the troops home,’ ironically receiving the applause of our country’s enemies, is already creating a much more dire scenario in Syria that will no doubt result in the need to send more troops there ultimately to fix the unintended consequences of this decision.
Gaining momentum, Wordsmith continued, “There are more examples, of course. His hush money payments to a porn star and Playboy playmate were intended to buy their silence. Not only did the opposite happen, but it also exposed the President himself as violating election laws and sent his personal lawyer to jail. This is an extreme case of trumping.”
Responding to the suggestion that the president’s “base” may no longer buy dictionaries because of this, the blunt Wordsmith suggested that most of them, like the president, don’t read anyway. Further he pointed out that “trump” and “trumpification” were not the only additions growing out of the president’s impact on American culture.
“We’ve added the term ‘narcissistic personality disorder’ this year defined as ‘a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships and a lack of empathy for others.’ We will be placing the President’s profile next to that definition in the new dictionary.”
“We’ve also added the term ‘dumpster fire,’ a synonym for ‘disaster’ and ‘mansplain,’ defined as explaining something to a woman in a condescending way that assumes she has no knowledge about the topic. These are both new words that many people will see as connected to the administration.”
Wordsmith was asked if the dictionary expected a cease and desist order from the White House based on the new verb.
“Oh, that won’t be a problem,” Wordsmith replied. “We’ve got a string of potential substitutes like, ‘unintendancy, misunderstandance, and oppification’ waiting in the wings and ready to go.”
When asked if creating new words based on the actions of specific persons would be a new trend, Wordsmith responded, “Well, this is hardly a new trend. Take narcissist as an example.”
“But, we are, in fact, looking at some new words based on this personalization approach,” he added with just a touch of enthusiasm. “So, when someone is completely entrapped by their own obfuscations, they will have been ‘muellered.’ Also, if the trapper is female and the trappee male, he will have been either ‘stormied’ or ‘pelosied. We have no decision on that yet.’”
“Also,” he continued, “when a person in a position of authority follows bad advice from a questionable or obviously biased source, they will have been ‘hannified’ or possibly ‘foxed.’ All of these are being considered for 2019.”
After it was suggested that most of these words have negative connotations, Wordsmith, peering over his half glasses and almost smiling, allowed, “Oh, we’ve also had some fun this year. We added ‘chiweenie’ a cross between a Chihuahua and a dachshund. Which of course leads to some other ideas; like a mcpencel which is defined as a blending of political supplicants who have abandoned their integrity to gain approval…but, forgive me. I digress.”